TURNOFFTHELIGHTSHUTTHEDOOR!!

I could apologise for the lack of posts of late again, but it seems i do that EVERY SINGLE TIME i write a post, so this time, i'm going to say GUTTED, big fat GUT ROTS that i havnt posted anything for a while. Right, now thats out the way, my excuse for not posting anything for a while is simple. it costs FIFTY MILLION BUCKS to go online in OZ. So, i guess the one good thing to come out of this, is much shorter posts from myself. Anyway, from all the people i have been speaking to, i think we only have three people reading this blog anymore (Thanks Karen, Hannah and Emma, you guys just really rock. You really do.) Anyway, beacuase time is short and money is sparse, this is going to be more of a roundup.

So, we were last at Krabi after the DEATH ferri yes? Well, due to this horrific event, we spent three days in Krabi doing NOTHING. Plus there were so many fat, boiled, red Brits everywhere, it didnt really feel like a special tropical paradise anyway so we were pretty happy sleeping all day in our room. After Krabi, we made our way to the wonderful tropical paradise of Ko Phi Phi. Lonely Planet described it as "So beautiful, it will make you cry." we it did make us cry but i cant say that was because of the beauty. Sadly, like most of the tropical wonders of Phi Phi, the place had succumbed to the TOURIST. As soon as we arrived, the white, snowy beaches were covered again in fat europeans, lolloping around, and roaring like Elephant Seals battling over their spot on the sand. The water was also so hot i actually think i began to boil whilst6 sitting in it. however, saying this, we did find paradise just off shore when we went sailing in a long boat for the day. We snorkled just off of the beach where that film, The Beach was filmed, and saw many tropical wonders. We also sailed home under a purple sunset which was pretty eye bulgingly beautiful. However, my highlight of Phi Phi was chilling out in a place called the Sunflower Bar, where we sat stuffing our face with Phad Thai, and watching the Sun Set and a Thunder Storm, battle for our attention in the great big sky over the endless ocean in front of us. Wonderful stuff.

SO, after Phi Phi, it was time to say fairwell to Thailand, and HIYA Malaysia! We jumped in a minibus at Krabi, and made our way over the boarder to the wonderful island of Langkawi. Weirdly, in the bus on the way there, out of the four Brits on board, two were from Essex. One went to my school and happened to know everyone i did who was a year younger than me, and the other is best friends with my cousin Toria, AND the sister of one of my old friends! MADNESS. JUST MADNESS. So talking about how weird it was that we knew eachother and how many other people we were connected to took up most of the days journey (perhaps not the pleasure of the other passengers who did infact try to suffoctae themselves with their own fists throught the journey) adn we finally arrievd in Langkawi. Langkawi offered beaches, great pizza, MASSIVE insects and jungles. One night whilst i was enjoying a rather excellent Satay Pizza (Chicken satay, on a pizza, there is NOTHING better i assure you.) two giant flying cockraoches, about the size of a mobile phone each, flew over to the lampost next to our table. Instantly, all girls in the surrounding vicinity opened their mouths and eyes and begun to emit deep, gurgling squeels of horror. It was quite amazing. As they stared, open mouthed at these flying monsters, i began to calm them. "Guys, seriously, whats wrong with you? look, theyre not gonna fly into us, theyre more interested in that light, besides theAAAAARGOHMYGOD" i flew off my chair, jumping about becuase one of these beetles of doom had decided to fly straight into my face. It actually felt like someone had thrown a crunchy stone right at my cheek. Those bugs hit HARD when they smash into stuff. So for the rest of the night all of my manly assurances were disregarded due to my girlish screams during my bug attack. On our last day in Langkawi, and with the essex girls, we all rented a car together and drove off into the jungle. We got two cars. one good one. And one bad one. Guess which one i was in? You know, i have never seen smoke coming out of the air conditioning before. Nor have i ever seen the steering wheel come off mid turn either. But it was good fun none the less.

After we said our goodbyes in Langkawi, we headed to Penang. Not much to report here apart from the fact we went the cinema and it was AMAZING. 1.50 per film. I was in HEAVEN. Life surged back into my eyes as i sat in those air conditioned rooms, wobbling in the darkness with my eyes and mouth devouring the popcorn and sights in front of me in equal measure. Oh we also stuffed our faces in Penang as well. Lots of curries. Ever heard of Butter Chicken curry? I havnt, but its bloody lovely. After Penang it was to Kuala Lumpur, one of those funny sounding places you never actually realises exists until you see it on a map or go there. kind of like Timbuktoo ya know? Well KL (as the locals call it, oh yeah, im down the kids) was pretty dull. Lots of shops, including a TOPMAN (DANGER DANGER) were present, but apart from the giant glittering Patronas towers that we couldnt even go up, not alot here. Shame we stayed 4 nights to be honest. KL was also the location for my first dorm experience. An experience i wasnt really looking forward to. Sleeping in a confined, hot, room with a bunch of burping, farting, rude foreign strangers who care about nothing but their own goodness? No thanks. But iw as assured by jo and Jo that this was the not the case and most Dorm experiences were good fun. My first one WASNT. As we entered our 8 bed dorm at 11 at night (on a saturday might i add), we found the lights off, air con and entire guests of1 asleep, or trying to apparently. As we turned on the lighths, this disgusting hair beast, a girl with the same complexion and greasy locks as the girl from The Ring emerged from her bed, seeming to grow up out of the mattress. As we attempted to enter the room, which was the size of my parents bathroom, her eyes bulged and she screamed "TURNTHELIGHTOFFCLOSETHEDOORPLEASEBEQUIETTURNTHELIGHTOFF" and fell back under her covers. It was like witnessing an attack from the Canvey Island Banshee. Her thick essex accent constantly mumbled and swore until we had climbed into our beds, still holding our bags and still in our clothes. At one point, after i exited the room to brush my teeth, as i quietly opened the door ajar and stuck my hand into my bed to get the key, she arose again, stared through the gap ala THE GRUDGE, eyes buging beneathe my arm and begun to close the door upon it. If i didnt remove it as quicly as i did i would have lost it. Anyway, i decided that after spending the night trying to sleep above this hairy harpee and her UNBELIEVABLE snoring, i opted out and got my own room for the next three nights. I was in bliss. I had my own room. PEACE. It was wonderful.

So, all thats left of our Asian Experience is our time in Singapore, and our first week in the Wonderful World of Australia. I'll update on this in the next post. Saw my first Abbo today. I actually said "Oh look, there;s an Abbo" totally ignorant to the fact that apprently 'Abbo' is a derogatory term. I discovered this when the man glared at me through his thick brow and started follwoing us. I shant make the mistake again.

Photos will be uploaded soon as well, as soon as it doesnt bankrupt me to get online.

Until then, cheerio!

OH, and this post is dedicated to
HANNAH AND RICH!
HAPPY WEDDING DAY WONDER!
MWAH xxxxxxxxxxxx